Last year, there was a time when I was reflecting on things that I felt were going well for me, as well as things that had challenged me. Areas of my life that seemed to effortlessly flow compared to parts where I felt resistance.

I had mostly been experiencing overwhelm and the various sensations that went along with that – exhaustion, happiness, tiredness, elation and the ever-present question of “how will I get it all done?”. Here I was, a single mum of a beautiful 7-and-a-half-year-old, juggling a full-time job, studying for a new coaching certification, keeping up my fitness regime, all while trying to get my new business off the ground. Not an unusual or first-time problem, I know. But it was a lot, and I wanted to do all of it well. So you can see where I was coming from..

It was a far cry from how I had been feeling a week prior. I felt excited, I had that “on top of the world” feeling. I was “loving myself sick”. “I feel indomitable right now,” I thought. “I don’t need anyone, I haven’t even thought about men this week! I have my own thing now which makes me happy, and no one can take it away from me… I don’t need a man to make me feel this happy. I’m doing that for myself.”

To put this in context, I’ve been single for three years, and have been having a great ol’ time dating during this time. Let’s just say I’ve typically got a couple of men that I’m dating at once, and there’s normally some pretty juicy stories to go along with what’s happening in my personal life. So, for me to “not need a man” was a little out of the ordinary. It was also an incredible feeling.

Well, what goes up must come down, right? This next week I was struggling. Hard. The overwhelm was real and I was no longer flying high. I was starting to question how I was going to launch a business and shift away from being employed, to being self-employed. I considered how I could manage this from the perspective of being in my feminine, which in this context was about listening to what work my body was leaning into, rather than trying to push things that just weren’t happening.

On top of that, something else had come up for me which felt very difficult to acknowledge. I’d had a significant moment where I had felt lonely. Really lonely. I could physically feel loneliness showing up in my body like a heavy void.

Once I did acknowledge it, however, I realised there was work to be done here. I allowed myself to go with the feeling, to drop down into my body to really feel what was there. To acknowledge it, to be curious about it and to welcome it, even.

You see for so long, I’d ignored what I call “inconvenient feelings” in service of getting on with life and pushing forwards. I would justify this by telling myself that I’d been through enough emotional drama and trauma for one lifetime, so pushing that hard stuff away and carrying on was what was best for me. It helped me protect my heart and not get hurt again. That makes sense, right? It’s a much easier way to live life. No feelings of loneliness, no needing anyone, no pain.

Except, that isn’t living. That’s numbing.

When I ventured down into my body, I felt a knot in my stomach. It was ever-present. As though an actual piece of rope was residing within my physical body.

In that place, the feeling was hot, heavy, like a thick metal chain. I did not try to change it or fix it. I simply allowed it to be. I longed to love it and welcome it because it was part of me.

I breathed deeply and sounded the energy through my mouth, tears streaming down my face as I welcomed it all. It was incredible.

These were the messages that came to my though my body in this process –

“It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to want someone in my life. I can rely on someone else. I don’t have to do it all myself. It doesn’t all have to land on me.”

I realised that if I allowed this someone to come into my life, I could breathe. I could relax I would have more time. In other words, I would have ABUNDANCE.

I was offered an incredible gift that day – a shift in perception around the feeling of loneliness. It’s not something to feel sad about. Think about it; when you tell someone you feel lonely, the typical reaction is “aww.. I’m sorry to hear that you feel lonely”. Like it’s a bad thing. But I could see it differently now. It is a beautiful yearning and my body’s way of sending me the message loud and clear that this is something I want. While my brain was trying to convince me that I didn’t need anyone, my body knew better. It was like a sucker punch to my stomach. “Hey Isabel, listen up! You actually do want this, and that’s okay”.

And rather than thinking that I couldn’t fit someone into my life in that moment given how busy I was (brain talk), or that I’d never find someone if I was coming from a place of loneliness (more brain talk), or that it’s risky to open up to someone again (yep, there’s that brain talk again), what this had done was open up my heart to the possibility of having someone special in my life. How incredible. Thank you, body.

I’ve learnt that distracting myself from those “inconvenient feelings” freezes that energy in my body and subsequently stops me from being in flow. It denies my true state, my true feelings and my reality. By sitting with those feelings, appreciating them and even loving them, I can open myself up to what is really meant for me.

So now I ask you – have you ever ignored your hard feelings? Pushed them away? Considered them “inconvenient” in the way I have? Pushed them so far down that you’ve become numb to it all? If you have done this, I completely understand and I believe it’s normal. It’s human to turn away from pain and protect ourselves.

But what if you could face those feelings, meet them, identify and acknowledge them and then, release them? What do you feel that this could do for you? One thing I can tell you, is that you will FEEL and you will be in your FLOW. You will be living.

This is the beauty of the work that we can do together – I can guide you into your own body, to find the answers that are already there. You, in your infinite wisdom, know what needs to be released and how you can move forward and be in FLOW. I’ll simply help you find your way.

If you have any questions about working with me as your feminine embodiment coach, please reach out.

With love,

Bella